by Judy Keating
We have often been told “it is better to give than receive.” It is truly a wonderful feeling when we are able to give to people we love. Society has deemed the giver a more honorable place to be.
If you have ever been in a relationship where you are always giving, in most cases you become resentful, even if it is unconsciously. Brené Brown, who is world famous for her work in helping people with shame, vulnerability, and worthiness, shared a personal revelation. Do I as a giver have a judgment about the receiver? Sit with that. Have you ever felt like the person you were giving to was weak or “needed your help?”
If so, than in your giving you have possibly devalued that other person and it is no wonder that you feel uncomfortable receiving. In our society being weak or needy is paramount to the plague. This mindset muddies the water of being in a relationship.
When we are in conscious equal partnership with another, we honor, believe, and expect that the giving and receiving will go both ways. Being open to receive is essential. Imagine that you could only breathe out. Eventually you would pass out due to lack of breath. When we breathe in, we receive; when we breathe out we give back and the plants, trees, etc. benefit. What an incredible system that is, automatically set for giving and receiving because it is a natural cycle. Yes, receiving is indeed as virtuous as giving. Without the cycle being completed and flowing in both directions, the energy becomes stagnant and without life force.
Receiving takes vulnerability. It is the art of being open to what life wants to gift you. Are there things, people, and accomplishments in your life that you desire? Are you ready to receive?
Here are 3 ways to increase your ability to receive:
1. Be grateful for what you have. Not the platitude of gratitude. Put your hand on your heart, think of someone, something, or a place that you love. Then breathe into that love and send thanks and appreciation. This helps anchor the gift that appreciation is a way of receiving on a deeper level what someone has given you.
2. Do not attach to what you want having to come “your way.” We have all tried to figure out how to get something the way we think it should happen. This blocks receiving from many other avenues. And it can prevent us from seeing other potentials and opportunities.
3. Read Gay Hendricks’ The Big Leap which uncovers upper limit beliefs that prevent us from receiving more love, goodness, money, health, or happiness determined by our Upper Limit internal set point. This is about understanding your unconscious beliefs about receiving and ways to change them.
The most profound way you can improve your ability to receive is to notice what you feel when receiving anything—a compliment, help with a heavy door, an unexpected gift or bonus, or someone saying I want to give you (fill in the blank). Stop and notice what feelings, sensations, or thoughts pop up. Do you deflect, shrink, or feel uncomfortable? Just notice what happens. Becoming conscious of how you receive will give you valuable information about ways to better your acceptance of being open to receive what you desire most—connection, joy, and gratitude for all you have been given.